3 Steps To Better Self Esteem
Low self-esteem is more than feeling unhappy or unsure about yourself. It affects your everyday life and hinders you from being a part of normal social situations. Low self-esteem can keep you from making new friends, interviewing for new jobs, being seen in public, and living the life you want. If you suffer from low self-esteem, take a look at the tips below before trying to find a counselor. You will find encouragement and new ideas to break out of your old way of thinking and begin feeling more confident in yourself today.
Step One: Realize that you are a worthy, lovable person.
Even if you don't believe it, you were made for a purpose and are lovable. Others may lead you to believe that this is untrue, but you don't have to believe them. Make the choice to understand that you are a human being and deserve to be loved. I understand that you can give me ten good reasons right now that you believe make you unlovable, but I could give you ten good reasons why you are lovable. Your height, weight, occupation, and beliefs are simply parts of you. Meeting certain criteria doesn't make you deserve love any more than someone else. As a human being, you deserve to be loved. This is the core issue for many problems such as depression and eating disorders.
Step Two: Start loving yourself.
Make a list of the qualities you love about yourself and post them where you can see them. Give yourself one compliment a day. Listen for others to give you compliments. Make a list of activities or items that make you feel good and then surround yourself with them. If you feel good when you take a walk, then take a walk three times a week. Watch a movie that makes you happy or wear your favorite pair of jeans that make you smile. Notice when you feel insecure and when you feel confident. Make a mental or physical note during the times when you feel down or unhappy with yourself. Is it when you are alone? Surrounded by others? Notice when you feel out of place and ask yourself what it is about the situation that makes you feel this way. Familiarity with yourself and your emotions is a great way to begin changing your negative feelings into positive results.
Step Three: Rely on you, not others.
I'm not saying to become completely independent. You will always need people in your life and having close friends and family is a great way to maintain your self-esteem. What I am saying is that you need to begin relying on yourself instead of others to be happy. Some people are unable to be happy unless they are surrounded by others. This is a red flag that you are not comfortable with yourself. Use these opportunities to remind yourself how important and lovable you are. Being alone doesn't mean that others don't like you. Remind yourself of this when you feel like picking up the phone or running out the door the minute you are left alone. Use your alone time to be productive, finish work, relax and watch a movie, or catch up on chores. Do something positive and productive for yourself when you are alone. It will help you refocus your attention and will make you feel good that you did something nice for yourself.